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Humor - on parenting and sleep. March 2012

My children have devised a sophisticated telepathic relay system whereby they will immediately wake the moment the other one has fallen asleep. By this means they intend on slowly torturing me with sleep deprivation until they can eventually overthrow me and become feral masters of cosycottage. It's working. I'm slowly becoming a terrible mother.

It took me FOUR attempts to toast hot cross buns this morning, and when I finally managed to save one from burning, Curlyhead decided she no longer wanted one for breakfast. Instead she scraped the chocolate fudge icing from last nights cake decorating/chocolate massacre off the kitchen table with her fingernails and ate that. Oh, and took two bites out of each apple in the fruit bowl and put it back. Must have had at least one of her five a day.

Smileybaby has eaten his bodyweight in banana and toast this morning. He would probably be crawling by now if it wasn't for his odd instant reflex to flemmy-vomit in front of himself the second he gets into the all-fours position, and subsequently loses all interest in getting anywhere, prefering instead to mash his chubby baby hands into the sick and splash.

I can't wait for my 45 minute intervals of sleep tonight.

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