Skip to main content

Hire me to write some words for you

No beating around the bush, the entire intention of this blog is to get people to pay me to write stuff. Because I'm really good at writing stuff. Like, check this out right now. You're reading it, right? Write? I'm also amazing at puns.

I love writing. It makes me happy and I can do it all day. Even when, or especially when, I'm supposed to be doing something else which is far more important. Over the years I've written different types of blogs about different things; veganism, politics, employability, parenthood. But they're scattered and inconsistant. I've put examples of all of these on this blog so they are all in one place. Some of them are incomplete, some reflective, some funny, some angry. All honest.

But why should you pay me? Well, I can write in a variety of different ways. The words you're reading now are quite typical of opinion style peices found in lifestyle editorials such as The Pool or the Huffington Post. They're chatty and conversational and slightly near the knuckle but not actually offensive to anyone, so therefore you can laugh. I can use words like 'cockwomble' which only offends cockerels and wombles, who, according to google analytics, aren't really my demographic anyway.

However, should you wish, I am also adept at a more formal writing style suitable for reports, press releases and bid writing. I can write data and fact based copy in a non biased way. This is something I've done in my day job with excellent results, and can provide examples on request.

And you know those articles you read where incredible human interest stories are slowly and painstakingly revealed and leave you crying and feeling a little bit manipulated and used. I can do that. In my sleep. Check this out.

But seriously, I am well placed to talk about a variety of things from personal experience such as:
  • being a mum who works full time
  • being a mum to an autistic child
  • being a (slow) runner
  • running half marathons
  • being bad at yoga
  • being a child of an addict
  • being a tenant of a rental property 
  • frustrated centre left politics
  • literature, art and theatre 
  • youth employment and education (the day job)
  • television (I love telly)
  • veganism
  • veganism on a budget
  • vegan cooking
  • vegan reviews
  • vegan weddings
  • veganism as a family
  • waste free living
  • cruelty free living 
  • crochet and knitting
  • gentle parenting
  • feminism and gender issues
  • self care and mental health
  • How to dress well in your thirties without looking like Fat Face threw up on you
  • being a bit of a cliche (see all of the above)

Not sure? Try me. Read through my stuff. Send me a brief to work with and see what I can come up with. Or just follow me on twitter and Instagram and read what I write. Being read is the ultimate goal. But I also need to eat. Lots. 

amypattermug@gmail.com 



Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

poem: The song of the new vegan (who lives with omnivores)

Toast is wholemeal, I spread my Vitalite And a liberal helping of Marmite, Then I sip his tea to check it’s just right And I’m not a vegan today. Lunch is a hummous wrap with veg And packet falafel which I forget to check Until after it’s gone. It contains egg And I’m not a vegan today. For dinner sausage and mash is planned, My meat free sausages are tasty but bland, But I serve potatoes, and lick butter from my hand, And I’m not a vegan today. The sun comes up, my coffee is brewed Almond milk goes in, my banana is chewed I take a deep breath. I’m at peace with my food And I’ll try to be vegan today. (Again) 
Post a Comment
Read more

engage, enterprise, innovate.

Where do you start? I often sit in my drop in sessions confronted by a year 11 who is, frankly, overwhelmed. They are finally facing the first point of real decision about their life after years and years of education, assessments, careers advice, open days, workshops and assemblies. They’ve been told about A Levels, Btecs, OCR national diplomas, NVQs, Traineeships and Apprenticeships. They’ve been told about Level 2s and Level 3s, UCAS points, HNDs, BAs and BSc, Masters degrees, graduate schemes, internships and access courses. They’ve been told they HAVE to stay in education or training, by law, until they are 18. They’ve often been sent to me by a teacher, or a parent, who have very well meaning and slightly panicked worries about them. They have no plan. What are they going to do after school/college/uni. Where will they go? Who will they be? They’ve been told, ‘I’ve made an appointment for you to go and meet Amy. She’ll sort you out’. And so they sit, in front of me...
Post a Comment
Read more

blah blah sponging off the tax payer blah blah...

One of the biggest talking points at the moment is the government's plans to cap benefits. Now, I don't have the time or energy to explain, or even try and understand the  fine points  of all the changes,  other people  have done this far better than me. I would, however, like to respond to the, frankly rather boring and predictable responses that always come up whenever benefits are discussed in public. They are often uttered by those who proudly state they have always worked, never claimed benefits, and invariably wonder at people who dare to have children, homes, televisions, food, water etc. without considering who is going to pay for them. Well, all I can say about these  commenters  is that  I'm  very pleased for them that they've never been in a position of vulnerability or disadvantage, and they're right, if everyone was intelligent enough to never need any help from anyone, ever, the world would be a much better place. Unfortunately, ...
Post a Comment
Read more